Get a smaller car! Was what I shouted through the open window of my normally-sized vehicle to the other driver, who was in the process of failing his third attempt to park the one-block wide SUV into a regular parking spot. With the awareness of the danger, I exhibit a face that would make innocence look evil (I always manage to look 14 if I have to), put my car in reverse and back off from the crime scene. I chicken out: one can't really expect to roam freely on an average weekend Long Island parking lot, in plain sight, bitching at people like that. After all, the poor man just drove here peacefully from around the corner to get a six-pack and here I am, with my big mouth, attacking the very quintessence of his masculinity and disturbing the serenity of the seventh day. However, it is not the guilt, or the surprising ways of my conscience, evolving into this new and evil direction, that bother me the most. Which only shows once more how direly inconsiderate I am. What I am really worried about is the remote possibility of one of these days actually getting it. Maybe I will find the one person willing to leave the celebrated comfort of his sports tank and smack down a presumptive 14 year-old. I wouldn't even think I didn't deserve it, I sometimes manage to detach from my pitiful self and see how this is probably one of my most obnoxious actions. The only situation with vaguely higher potential was that day when we put the "your SUV sucks" hand-written note in the window for the bright black Mercedes passing us, while we were stalling with 70 miles an hour on the HOV lane. That eventuated into a sudden stop of all traffic on the above mentioned lane, while the black rider who had force-parked us next to the wall was considering if he should get off, and what to do if he did. Oh, sooo scary. Makes me wish I had my own tank for such cases. Oh, well, what can I do? I do believe in global warming.As much as I myself detest sometimes my stubbornness and its futility. My belief was drastically shaken about a month ago, when on some occasion I saw these two old creepy guys holding a sign saying: "Global warming is good. We can't afford bloody Florida." I have to admit, that chipped a bit my off my fanaticism, but I rebounded pretty quickly and find myself today still hating the fumes. Some people agree with me, but then these are usually my friends, and what does that say about them after all? Don't get me wrong. By no means am I trying to talk people into keeping their cars in the garage (or at the factory) and into biking around. That would make me duplicitous. I have myself commuted to New York for a whole year, trying to avoid the public transport and hence the company of vicious and probably perverted non-car-owners who frequent it. I myself posses a car, whose life and ownership is subjected to discussions once a month in average, that is whenever my boyfriend remembers it exists. People should take advantage of all recent technology, by all means, that is what progress is about. Right. However, I hereby take a moderation vow. No more hysterical screams out the window. No more pointing fingers at honorable voting citizens. No more showing fingers to Hummers (parked or not). From now, I will silently glide in a world of men and big cars delicately and discreetly, leaving behind a vague scent of jasmine and this on their front windows: And to pay for my past and probably future blunders, I have decided (and people who know me also know I am damn serious): from now I am riding a horse. Or, to be cheap, might as well be riding an ass.